GEORGIA PLANS TO MOVE NORTH

By R. A. Pearson

A recent article in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution by C. Barton Crattie, a Georgia land surveyor, about the errors made during the 1818 survey of the Georgia-Tennessee border, especially the corner, indicated the survey was incorrect and deprived Georgia of access to the Tennessee River. Crattie believed the mistake in calculating Georgia's northern corner was just an odd historical footnote; however, his article has brought on a ‘Border war’ as drought stricken Georgia searches for any water it can lay its hands on.

The boundary was set by Congress at 35 degrees of north latitude. A correct survey would have placed the boundary about a mile north of the present line and given Georgia access to the Tennessee River. According to Crattie, who serves on the board of the Surveyors Historical Society, the 1818 survey was done by a Georgia math professor named James Camak using a cheap sextant and unsuitable astronomical tables. His improper equipment and charts, plus wild fires and hostile indian activity in the area, caused him to make an improper and rushed survey missing the 35 degree line. However Crattie concluded his article by saying, “Unfortunately for Georgia, the corner is where the corner is.”

But defying all odds, the Georgia legislature is looking to move north, at least one mile north, to the Tennessee River. Peach State legislators introduced bills to rectify the 190-year-old problem by moving the boundary a mile north, solving the ‘corner problem,’ and giving the state access to the Tennessee River. Ga. State Senator David Shafer and Representative Harry Geisinger proposed a commission to proclaim the state’s “definite and true boundary lines” in an attempt to move the state north. The bill is supported by almost all of Georgia’s legislators and Lt. Governor Casey Cagle. The bill would commission legislators from Georgia, Tennessee, and North Carolina to investigate claims that the border is actually more than 5,000 feet north of the present boundary. The bill provoked ridicule and scorn in Tennessee.

Howell Moss, an official in of Tennessee’s Marion County, indicated, “If they really do try to pull this off, we will do whatever we have to do to defend ourselves. My constituents have no desire to live in Georgia.”

Shafer’s bill suggests attempts were made in 1887, the 1940s, and the 1970s to fix the boundary at the real 35 degree parallel.

Assuming someone other than the General Assembly of Georgia takes the bill, the commission, and the Georgia claims to move north seriously, the cost in lawsuits, surveyors, and hard feelings for both states will be astronomical. In the words of the late great Warren Zevon, “Send lawyers, guns, and money. The #!$@ has hit the fan.” However, boundaries and disputes between states are the purview of the federal courts and the Tennessee River, is managed by the Tennessee Valley Authority, a federal agency, so this case may go directly to the U.S. Supreme Court unless Georgia tries to seize the land. The Clarion Issue took a hypothetical look at that step in the Georgia-Tennessee Border War for our readers.

CNN is showing a clip of Justin Wilson, a Nashville attorney and former Deputy Governor of the Volenteer State, saying, “Us good Tennesseeans will take our long rifles up to Lookout Mountain and fire when ready,” obstensively at the invading Georgia militia trying to annex the one mile of sacred Tennessee land. The invasion is making for great TV news coverage: “Border War in the South- and It Ain’t Football.” Viewers can see the Tennessee militia in buckskins with their long rifles and powder horns shouting at the cameras, “We’s gonna shoot them Jawgains like Snuffy Smiff shoots them ‘er infernal reveneures when they come around a huntin’ his moonshine still.” Then the Georgia’s militia says, while wearing blur uniforms circa 1812 and eating goober peas (peanuts), “We’e a gona get dat land and that water that Tin-a-see stole even though we stole it from the Cherokees and set the boundary ourselves.” The Tennessee militia has even dug up the bones of Andy Jackson so he can lead them on one more crusade as “Ol’ Hickory;” while the Georgia militia digs up the body of former Governor and Senator James Jackson, the small, hot-tempered, duelist who led the protest against the Yazoo Land Fraud in the 1790s and early 1800s and carries him out front. Finally, as the militias are ready for the big battle, a rider arrives on horseback to announce Governor Sonny Perdue, Republican of Georgia, and Governor Phil Bredesen, Democrat of Tennessee, will fight a duel to decide the issue. At stake is the honor of each state, and the Tennessee River.

On the appointed day both governors meet at Sanford Stadium at the University of Georgia for the duel. The bones of James and Andrew Jackson are there. The crowd is there. The news media is there. The seconds, the state’s respective Lt. Governors, are there. The event is narrated by a sports commentator like John Madden or maybe a TV comedy political talk show host like Jon Stewart. Before the duel the country band Alabama rocks the crowd with three hot tunes concluding with their big hit “Tennessee River,” and the crowd, half in red and black, the other half in orange and white goes crazy. The pistols are replicas of the weapons used by Aaron Burr and Andrew Hamilton in their famous duel in 1804 except Gov. Perdue’s pistol is embossed with the seal of Georgia and an elephant, while Bredesen’s carries the seal of Tennessee and a donkey. On camera the duelists meet at the 50-yard line as Hans Blix inspects the weapons. Then the contestants take up their positions on the X on the 35-yard lines where the teams kickoff. Then, BOOM… they fire in the air. The commentator goes ballistic (pardon the pun). “WHAT! On national TV they fire in the air! What about the water? What about southern honor? What about…” (The commentator is handed a note) and announces, “This just in folks! The seconds had worked out a pre-duel deal to be announced at a later date in the next Clarion Issue. The contestants have headed to the Varsity for chilidogs and a double dose of Lipitor. Uga, Smokey, and Cluny will be there to sign autographs. So much for “Border Wars,” except in football. To Hell with real reality TV. I’m outta here”